I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
