I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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