Someone shit on the floor
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
