I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
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driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
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Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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