Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
