There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
