Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
