White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I could fuck to npr.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
