You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
