Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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