i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
