That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
