He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
