my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
