i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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