Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
