john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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