im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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