What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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