Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize