oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
