What a fucking waste of an outfit
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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