do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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