evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Randomize
