then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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