I met the friendliest cop last night
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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