your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
