12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just found a bag of teeth...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize