I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
