Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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