also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
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He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
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Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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