doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
