she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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