Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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