Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
