Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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