THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
