i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
