Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
