woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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