i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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