Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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