I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
