Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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