Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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