you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
A+ Viking dick
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
