We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
did i walk over a car last night?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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