I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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