Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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