BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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