the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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