Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's blow job season.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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