She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
