I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
