i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
