just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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