I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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