I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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